Happy 2014, happy new beginnings!
A good start it is. January 1st, 2014 has a New Moon, which is the sign of new beginnings. And there is new life: my brother called me this morning to let me know a baby is on it’s way!
How are you starting the New Year? Have you made a list of New Year’s resolutions? As per Osho, I would suggest to never make any resolutions other than to never make any resolutions:
Someone asked Osho: ” if one were to make only one New Year’s resolution, what would you suggest?”
Osho said: ” This and only this can be the New Year’s resolution: I resolve never to make any resolutions because all resolutions are restrictions for the future. All resolutions are imprisonments. You decide today for tomorrow? You have destroyed tomorrow.
Allow the tomorrow to have its own being. Let it come in its own way! Let it bring its own gifts.
“Resolution means you will allow only this and you will not allow that. Resolution means you would like the sun to rise in the west and not in the east. If it rises in the east, you will not open your windows; you will keep your windows open to the west.
What is resolution? Resolution is struggle. Resolution is ego. Resolution is saying, “I cannot live spontaneously.” And if you cannot live spontaneously, you don’t live at all — you only pretend.
“So let only one resolution be there: I will never make any resolutions. Drop all resolutions! Let life be a natural spontaneity. The only golden rule is that there are no golden rules.”
Making resolutions takes you out of the present moment, as they are projections on the future. And changes are – if you did make resolutions – they are the same as last year’s. Doesn’t that mean that whatever you are resolving is just not working?
Often resolutions stem from the thought that things will be better “if only…” (fill in the blank), from the need of approval, admiration or status (“If I ran the marathon my friends would be really impressed”). Thinking you would be happier if you met your resolutions is like thinking that if it never rained the world would be at peace. It ain’t so.
Think of one of your resolutions, and answer these questions with yes or no:
– Do I look forward to the journey that will take me to my goal? (e.g. If your resolution is to loose weight, do you get enthused by the idea of eating healthier and working out, or are you merely focused on the moment you will fit into a size 0 pair of jeans?)
– I want to experience the results of my resolutions, even if no one else would ever know about it. (e.g. would you still run the marathon is you wouldn’t or couldn’t share the result with anyone?)
– Even if everyone I know thought I was weird or stupid, I would still make the same resolution.
If you answered these questions with “no”, your resolutions are merely based on boosting your ego. An ego boost will never last long, as it is not the real solution to what is actually going on. You may feel a temporary “high” after running a marathon and the praise of your friends, but when that wears off you will still be your lonely self if that was how you felt to begin with. So what to do instead?
Be compassionate. Be available for whatever is present.
With a compassionate heart we are able to experience fully everything that presents itself in our consciousness. We can let it be without the need to do something about it. Feeling lonely? Experience it fully. Feeling unworthy? Experience it fully. It sounds paradoxical, yet this is how the contraction within you meets the infinity of life. As one of my teachers, Juno Burger, says: “The result is an energetic shift in which tension is released and balance is restored. Every time you consciously experience and embrace an aspect of your life, your system learns a completely new and freeing way to deal with daily reality.” This doesn’t mean we should resist, change or hold on to any experience, as this would miss the essence of compassion. After the embrace “this” remains: life itself. Life in its most raw, purest, unfiltered form. All-inclusive. That is where freedom lies.
When we choose compassion, when we choose the present moment, when we choose freedom, there is no need for resolutions. Isn’t that a relief?
Happy every moment!
Yours in compassion,
Marije E. Paternotte